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(no subject)

Jan. 27th, 2008 | 08:32 pm
location: downstairs
mood: lovedloved
music: fast car-tracy chapman

im laying in josh's arms right now, im making him dinner and we're laying by the fireplace. and ive never felt anymore comfortable.

life is hard, experiences suck, but its the moments like this that remind me how alive and relaxed i can feel all at the same times.

im going to be okay....i know now more than ever.
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(no subject)

Dec. 19th, 2007 | 04:33 pm
location: my bed
mood: exhaustedexhausted
music: stop and stare-one republic

Becca posted an entry a little while back and it made me think about my current situation.

I've been dating josh for a little over 6 months now and its gotten to a point of we can keep doing different things together but we both sit at the same point sometimes of wow...if i wasnt still living at home, we'd have probably made that step to move in together.

yes. i graduate this year...but as of right now, i dont know where that will bring me. i dont know if college is number one on my list right now. ive gotten so restless being young and being stuck in school when im ready to leave. im ready to graduate. im stuck in a rut on account of feeling as if its time to grow up. what am i doing? where am i going? what will come next? all questions that constantly plague my mind everyday.

ive recently realized maybe im restless because of not having a show...maybe its the fact that all im doing is dancing that i just feel useless. this time last year id just completed love heals, i was in the middle of doing a perfect fall, i had callbacks for tommy and i was so proud of where i stood.... right now all im doing is taking random dance classes, some voice lessons, and going to school..... how can i be proud of myself when i feel like im in such a static point? im so frustrated because i know im in a static place which causes the few things im doing to get static as well...

i feel incomplete as a dancer, im missing something....i want to be so amazing, i want it to fill my body, my mind, and my heart all over ago but i dont know how to fix it.

i started to take advantage of the relationship i have with josh...i realize that maybe its all because so much of it is good...there was no frustration for such a long time, is it the fact that i have found someone so perfect for me that i worry about it collapsing and disappearing beneath me? i love him. i am in love with him. we have overcome and gotten through so much.... i dont want to lose him....im so scared.

is it being scared that's causing the static in my life? not just being scared with josh because im starting to overcome it....but being scared of what next year will bring...or what it wont. i dont know if i want to take a leap into a dark future...because who will be waiting there for me? what will be waiting for me in my future? what will college bring? but more importantly, what will college take away from me?

i want to be so many things...so when do i find out whats going to happen next?

today was one of the scariest days ive ever had, all at once i didnt know what to do anymore....but i dealt with it. if i can deal with what i dealt with today, then shouldnt the rest fall into place?

when do i get what i want?
when does the one thing that i want more than anything for the rest of my life fall into place?

and furthermore, i am so happy with myself....happy that ive started to grow up, happy that ive started to mature, happy that my senior year may turn out okay. i have tried to surround myself with the people who will make me the happiest...and when fake people have walked into my life, ive tried to kick them right back out.

i just have so many questions....will they all get answered soon? and how do i go about them the best way possible?

i just want to do this all right...i dont want any regrets...ever.

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(no subject)

Nov. 26th, 2006 | 11:30 pm

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


its been a while...hello livejournal world.

<3

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(no subject)

Aug. 30th, 2006 | 10:03 pm
mood: tiredtired
music: nasty naughty boy-christina aguilera

i found this strangely interesting...

its in the ABC's of growing up...Collapse )

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(no subject)

Aug. 4th, 2006 | 09:19 am
mood: bouncybouncy

Les Misérables® School Edition
August 4-13, 2006

Wednesday-Saturday 7:30 PM
Sunday 2:00 PM


Francis J. Gaudette Theatre, 303 Front Street North, Issaquah
Tickets: General $12, Youth and Seniors $10
Box Office: (425) 392-2202


A musical by Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schönberg
Based on the novel by Victor Hugo
Music by Claude-Michel Schönberg
Lyrics by Herbert Kretzmer


Directed by Suzie Cameron Bixler
Choreographed by Marc delaCruz
Musical Direction by Nancy Fisher and R.J. Tancioco


Originally adapted from Victor Hugo's timeless novel, Les Misérables® School Edition introduces a new generation to the grand and inspirational story that has touched the hearts of millions. An emotional and uplifting epic, Les Misérables® follows Jean Valjean's life-long struggle for redemption and his relentless pursuit by inspector Javert, who refuses to believe Valjean can change his ways. Set amid the political and social turmoil of early 19th century France, the show includes a majestic score including "On my Own," "Do you Hear the People Sing?," "Castle on a Cloud," and "Master of the House."

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(no subject)

Jul. 23rd, 2006 | 10:07 pm
mood: crushedcrushed

and you will keep me safe. and you will keep me close. ill sleep in your embrace at lastCollapse )

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(no subject)

Jun. 20th, 2006 | 11:44 pm

1910: Emma Goldman speaks about gay rights

1924: The first gay rights organization is formed! It was founded in Chicago and is called the Society for Human Rights

1932: The new criminal code in Poland discriminates against homosexuality in Poland

1944: Sweden discriminates again homosexuality

1954: June 7th, 1954, Alan Turing dies from cyanide poisoning after 18 months of being given libido reducing hormone treatment for a year as punishment for coming out

1958: The Homosexual Law Reform Society is founded in the United Kingdom

1962: Illinois becomes the first U.S. state to remove sodomy law from its criminal code

1969: Homosexual behavior legalized in Canada

1970: The first gay pride parade ever, held in New York City

1974: Kathy Kozachenko becomes the first openly gay or lesbian American elected to public office

1979: first national gay rights march on Washington, DC

1981: Moral majority starts an anti-gay crusade. Norway becomes the first country to enact a law to prevent discrimination against homosexuals

1989: Denmark is first country in the world to enact registered partnership laws for same-sex couples.

1993: third gay rights march on Washington, DC

1998: Matthew Shepard is slain.

2004: Same-sex marriage in the United States: Massachusetts legalizes same-sex marriage in May. While 11 other states ban the practice.

2006: Illinois outlaws sexual orientation discrimination. While Washington state adds sexual orientation to existing anti-discrimination laws.



15.6% of hate crimes reported to police in 2004 were based on sexuality

14% were lesbians

2% were heterosexual

1% were bisexual








Matthew Shepard was a huge part of gay history. Not only was his death a great tragedy but it impacted everyone around him, not just his friends and family. But his death hit everyone in the world.



Matthew Shepard was born on December 1, 1976 to Dennis and Judy Peck Shepard. He grew up in Casper, Wyoming, attended Crest Hill Elementary school and Dean Morgan Jr. High. He later attended Catawba College and Casper College before he moved to Denver. After that he became a political science major at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. He would have continued to lead a normal life if it wasn't for the fact that people had a problem with his sexuality. Sometime after midnight on October 7th, 1998, Matthew Shepard met Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney in a bar. Shortly after that Shepard was robbed, severely beaten with a gun, tied to a fence, and left to die. He suffered a fracture to the back of his head and had severe brain stem damage. There were also about a dozen lacerations around his head, face, and neck. He was pronounced dead at 12:53 a.m. 5 days later

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(no subject)

Apr. 13th, 2006 | 10:20 pm
mood: crushedcrushed
music: america's next top model on tv

the chemistry between us could destroy this place...♥

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(no subject)

Oct. 12th, 2005 | 09:28 pm
mood: stressedstressed
music: swing life away-rise against

I'd drink a case of you...Collapse )

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because i'm simply too lazy...

Nov. 28th, 2004 | 12:34 pm
mood: crazycrazy
music: Wizard and I-Wicked

Because I'm quite simply too lazy to post all of my new pictures and because I never get around to posting them anyway because I have no time...Here's my link! I upload new pictures often-- Have fun! =)

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/decafpleasee/my_photos


Randomness-- Did I mention I love Wicked? yaaay Idina haha

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